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Lysistrata Reviews
Author: Knight Errant
Date: 2007

What does AIF stand for? Adult Interactive Fiction. If you likely to be offended by games with sexual content, you are advised not
to open these files.

Reviewed by David Whyld

'Written by Aristophanes, adapted by Knight Errant' says the intro. Cute.

In brief: it's 411 BC and Athens and Sparta are at war. The women don't like their men going off to war all the time so they decide not to let them have sex until peace is declared. You're one horny Greek warrior who decides enough is enough. You're having some and that's it.

Well, nice enough idea I guess but how to make progress? Beats me. I managed to get some wine and headed off to see my wife. I even succeeded in having a bed brought out and had a little chinwag with the old ball and chain about the war and stuff. That was about as far as I could get. All the conversation subjects dried up, attempts to have my wicked way with Myrrhine (my wife) met with failure, and sex itself was a definite no show. There was a definite Catch 22 situation at work here. The game won't let me have sex until I'm naked, but it won't let me take my clothes off because I'd then be naked. Bit of a problem there. Funnily enough, even if I climb into the bed which has helpfully been dropped here, the game still won't let me strip off because I'll then be naked. Hmm…

No hints. No help file. No walkthrough. As such, I pushed this to one side and didn't look back.

Arousal: (based on the fact that I didn't get any) a big fat zilch.

Reviewed by Softiron

Based on the Greek comedy by Aristophanes, Lysistrata takes place during the Peloponnesian war, when the women of Sparta band together to withhold funds and sex from their husbands until they agree to end the long war with Athens.  You play Cinesias, who’s horny as hell and is hell bent to  get some nookie from his wife.

What follows are a couple of bland fetching quests and bland conversation.  For those who played Dragon Warrior, remember when you talked to Princess Gwaelin?  She would ask, “Dost thou love me?”  YES or NO.  If you select no, she replies, “But thou must!  Dost thou love me?”  YES or NO.  Again, you select no, and she replies, “But thou must!  Dost thou love me?” ad infinitum until you select the correct response.  And those responses reward you with the ending.

With virtually no buildup towards the final sex scene, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

But I could bring myself to give Lysistrata a 10th place finish.

Stroke Meter: 

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