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Horse Reviews

Author: A.Ninny
Date: 2007

What does AIF stand for? Adult Interactive Fiction. If you likely to be offended by games with sexual content, you are advised not
to open these files.

Reviewed by David Whyld

This frustrated me from the word go. Considering it had three testers and was written by one of the foremost members of the AIF community, it seemed remarkably rough around the edges. First of all I had to look into a closet to see what was in it, simply examining it not being enough. There was an item in the closet which didn't seem to exist as far as the game was concerned. I was advised I could pull stuff out of the closet, but the game wouldn't let me. USE MOP didn't work, but CLEAN COURT did. Ahghghhghg!

Finally my co-worker, Ana, who I have the hots for, showed up. We played some basketball. Or tried to. I kept throwing the ball and missing whatever I tried throwing at. It was only later, when re-reading the README file, that I discovered I needed to SHOOT BALL instead of THROW BALL to actually get anything to work. Aahaahgaaa again! I then saw this in the room description

[TADS-1008: invalid datatypes for binary '+' operator]

which didn't really raise my opinion of the game much. Did this lot really get past three separate testers? By this time, I was pretty much ready to throw in the towel (or should that be SHOOT in the towel?) but decided to persevere a while longer to see if I could win the game of Horse and get to score with my sexy co-worker. Unfortunately I couldn't either win the game or score. I played 40+ rounds of the game and hadn't won. And the only thing I lost was my willpower to play any longer.

I'll give the game a thumbs up for the writing which was certainly better than average, but for the gameplay side of things? A definite thumbs down.

Arousal: non-existent.

Reviewed by Softiron

As a kid, my friends and I played this game frequently, though we called it LOSER. Of course, had we been playing A. Ninny’s version, we would have wanted to lose as quickly as possible.

What makes this game of strip’n’fuck HORSE work is the build-up. Reminiscent of the rules for the eponymous game in the movie BASEketball, each person is allowed to distract their opponent before taking a shot, either by talking or teasing them in some manner. I was delighted to discover that many of my ideas were implemented, including kissing her neck. Additionally, to have some of your teases backfire on your character is brilliant.

My only real gripe is that the dialogue can get a little repetitive, as the shots you take and the teases you make are all too finite.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, as your oversexed blonde co-worker will screw you either way. Which is how it should be, because when you’re playing strip HORSE, there are no real losers.

In a tough race to the finish, HORSE galloped across my ballot line in 3rd place.

Stroke Meter: 

Reviewed by Grimm Sharlak

You play a member of a sporting centre’s cleaning staff, and find yourself alone at the end of your shift with a sexy co-worker and a basketball ring…

This game also rates well, due to an inventive way of play. Rather than the usual AIF fare, this is almost a CYOA game based around a game of “Horse” a game where, in this case, you try and
match each other’s shots on the basketball court. This leads to a menu driven game, although in between you can enter commands to try and distract your opponent.

HORSE is certainly inventive, and well written overall. Another great effort from A Ninny.

Rating: A

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