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Home Alone Reviews

Author: Vachon
Date: 2003

Reviewed by Evil Bacteria

I think the subject of "possibly underage kid having sex with his possibly underage sister" has been explored adequately enough, but apparently Vachon disagrees. In the spirit of dissent, he went ahead and made Home Alone, which is about precisely that. It could be worse, a lot worse, but it could've been a helluva lot better. 

The Good Points: 
In Home Alone, the goal is to have sex with your underage sister in as many places/positions as possible, along with her equally underage friend who comes along to help after an introductory scene that was actually sort of nice to have. During the intro, you can type a specific command to get a hint as to what to do next, and after the intro you can do pretty much whatever you want. 

The sex scenes take place in several different rooms, and there are several different positions to engage in. The descriptions aren't terribly long or interesting, but they're certainly better than in some games. It won't take you long to finish the game, maybe fifteen minutes, and there's very little "not having sex," so you don't have to wade through "dialogue" or "puzzles" that detract from the "reading porn" experience. 

The Bad Points: 
While not a terrible game, Home Alone was pretty poorly executed. For on thing, Vachon seems to have bad, nay terrible, grammar, and his spelling is abysmal as well. Maybe I'm just anal retentive about this sort of thing, but when certain words or passages are nearly indecipherable it sort of takes away from the fun. Words like "murcy" and "pusy," or the great phrase "you doesn't see it," just make the game reek of ineptitude. On a plus side, the game refers to your sister Jill as "Julie" two or three times, which I thought was hilarious. 

Even worse, though, is a number of bugs that prevent you from doing a number of important things. To get the girls to follow you into a room, you must type, "call Jill and Monica" from the room you want them to enter. However, they refuse to enter the bathroom (even though it says that they follow you in), and you are apparently only allowed to call them into each room once. Additionally, while there are a total of four items, only two can be used, a dirty magazine and a photo you can look at. Wow. 

While Vachon's writing has improved dramatically since Relatives, he still retains most of his weaknesses, mostly a poor grasp of standard English and the inability to write an interesting description of sex; I'm sorry, but "Aaahahhgg Jiiill i dont dont know how much llloonger i can take this" just doesn't do anything for me aside from filling me with a deep sense of chagrin. Home Alone is Vachon's best game so far, but that doesn't mean it's worth playing.

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